Frequently Asked Questions
About Finding Mary Smith
What is Finding Mary Smith about?
Finding Mary Smith is the true story of discovering, at age 52, that I had been adopted through a secret gray market adoption. What began as a search for medical history became an extraordinary journey that led me to my birth mother—a former folk singer from the Greenwich Village music scene—and an entire biological family I never knew existed. It's a story about identity, family, forgiveness, DNA, and the unexpected ways our lives can change.
Is Finding Mary Smith a true story?
Yes. Every major event in the book is true. While some conversations have been recreated from memory and a few names have been changed for privacy, the people, discoveries, emotions, and reunions described in the book are real.
Why is the book called Finding Mary Smith?
For most of my life, "Mary Smith" was little more than a name on old adoption paperwork. Finding her became the driving force behind an incredible journey that changed my understanding of who I am and where I came from.
Who should read this book?
This memoir is for:
Adoptees
Late Discovery Adoptees (LDAs)
NPEs (Not Parent Expected)
Donor-conceived individuals
Genealogy and DNA enthusiasts
Anyone searching for biological family
Readers who enjoy uplifting memoirs
Anyone interested in stories of identity, resilience, and hope
Many readers who have no personal connection to adoption have told me they found the story compelling, emotional, and surprisingly funny.
Do I need to be adopted to enjoy the book?
Not at all. At its heart, this is a story about family, identity, secrets, and discovering where we belong. The themes resonate far beyond adoption.
About My Story
How did you learn you were adopted?
I discovered the truth unexpectedly at age 52 through a phone call from my adoptive mother's oncologist. Until that moment, I had no idea I had been adopted, despite many people in my family knowing the secret.
What is a gray market adoption?
Gray market adoptions were private arrangements that often took place decades ago through attorneys or intermediaries rather than licensed adoption agencies. Documentation was frequently incomplete or intentionally altered, making it much more difficult for adoptees to trace their biological families years later.
How long did it take to find your birth family?
The search took nearly two years of DNA testing, genealogy research, dead ends, and countless hours of detective work before finally leading to my birth mother and the rest of my biological family.
Did DNA testing play a role?
Absolutely. DNA testing was the breakthrough that made the search possible. Combined with traditional genealogy research and the generosity of volunteer Search Angels, it ultimately led to answers I never thought I'd find.
Did you meet your birth mother?
Yes. After decades apart, we were reunited, along with my biological sister and other members of my birth family. That reunion changed all of our lives in ways I never could have imagined.
About Adoption & DNA
What is a Late Discovery Adoptee (LDA)?
A Late Discovery Adoptee is someone who learns later in life that they were adopted. While every experience is unique, many describe feelings of shock, grief, relief, curiosity, and a profound reevaluation of their identity.
What is an NPE?
NPE stands for "Not Parent Expected." It describes someone who discovers through DNA testing that one or both of their biological parents are different from who they believed them to be.
Should I take a DNA test if I have unanswered questions about my family?
DNA testing has helped millions of people uncover family connections and medical history. Every situation is different, and it's important to understand that DNA results can sometimes reveal unexpected information. Being emotionally prepared for any outcome is just as important as taking the test itself.
Can Search Angels really help?
Yes. Search Angels are experienced volunteers who help adoptees and others with unknown parentage navigate DNA results, genealogy research, and family searches. Their generosity has helped countless families reconnect—including mine.
About the Author
Why did you write this book?
I wanted to tell the story honestly—the heartbreak, the humor, the uncertainty, and the joy. If sharing my experience helps even one person feel less alone or gives someone hope to begin their own search, then writing the book was worthwhile.
Are you available to speak?
Yes. I speak to libraries, bookstores, genealogy societies, adoption organizations, podcasts, book clubs, conferences, and community groups. My presentations combine storytelling, humor, and practical insights into adoption, DNA discovery, and finding family.
Please visit the Contact page to inquire about speaking engagements.
Is Finding Mary Smith available as an audiobook?
Yes. The audiobook is narrated by me, allowing listeners to experience the story in my own voice.
Where can I buy the book?
Finding Mary Smith is available in paperback, eBook, and audiobook formats through major booksellers and audiobook retailers worldwide.
Contact
Can I contact you?
Absolutely. I enjoy hearing from readers, especially fellow adoptees, DNA searchers, and anyone whose life has been touched by family secrets or reunion stories.
Please visit the Contact page on this website or connect with me through my social media channels.